The overall winner of the competition to tell the Nativity Story in under 30 seconds or in less than 90 words was someone the judge Adam Long of the Reduced Shakespeare Company commended for "taking reduction to heart".
The winner was Vandita Chisholm with this reduction:
Baby born in a stable. Lots of visitors...... Who's the daddy? God knows!!
Jane Gerson submits Joseph of Nazareth's diary, 26 Dec 0000:
Held up by Roman checkpoints all the way to Bethlehem, then guess what? Mary goes into labour and starts babbling about being a virgin. No room at the inn after that! End up in a cowshed-cum-hangout for radical shepherds resisting the occupation. Mary they adore, but their spiel about the sprog being a godsend who will 'save us through martyrdom', I don't need. Then three wise guys try to shmooze us with gifts we can't refuse. One day these meshuga extremists will get that kid crucified.
Andrew Tyrell submitted this entry:
It is with pleasure that I bring you the glad tidings of a richly deserved award for your recent sales drive. The idea of turning your stable into a temporary maternity unit and using celestial lights and voices to attract shepherds was inspiring.
The success of your international advertising campaign in bringing regal customers from far off lands has made us all sit up and take note.
May I suggest that we make this an annual event?